What would you have done?

I hope that 2010 has started as a great year for you all!

I have already had some great lessons in not attaching to pre-made plans
and just surrendering to whatever life has in store for me.

Seven weeks ago I came to Sri Lanka for 4 days to get a visa stamp for
my Indian visa.
Before I left the UK I had got a 12 month multiple entry visa for India
which is valid until July 2010. Even though the visa is valid for 12
months, you can only stay for a maximum of 180 days in India before you
have to leave the country and then you can come back in again. Up until
December 2009 it was possible just to go to a neighbouring country like
Sri Lanka or Nepal, get your visa stamp and then come straight back into
India. You could even do it on the same day if you wanted to.

In 2007 there was a terrorist attack on a hotel in Mumbai. Many people
were killed in the attack. It has since been discovered that the
terroists who planned the attack had used multiple entry tourist visas
to come in and out of India during the planning stages of the attack.

As a direct result of this, the Indian government decided in December
2009 to bring out a new visa change rule that would mean that any
tourist who was on a multiple entry tourist visa who left India would
not be allowed back in for a minimum of 60 days.

I arrived in Sri Lanka on 10th January, expecting to be here for 4 days
before I would take my flight back to Chennai, India. I was shocked to
discover that I would not be allowed back into India for 60 days (making
it 11th March!)

I stood in the Indian High commission in Colombo in total disbelief as I
was told by the officer there that this was a final decision and that I
could not appeal against the decision. On the official website it had
said that if you could prove that you were a genuine tourist (flights
booked/itinerary, etc) that you would be allowed back into India.
But here I was being
told categorically that I was not allowed back in.

I was initially angry that the terroists had been the catalyst for this
rule change and that India had decided to punish innocent tourists for
something that they had no part in.
By punishing innocent people it was as if the terroists had won in some
way.

Then I was upset as the reality of the situation hit me. I was alone, in
Sri Lanka (a country that I knew nothing about and that I had made no
research into as I was only staying for 4 days).

Within a few hours of hearing the news, I went from anger at the Indian
government and the Mumbai terroists, to sadness at my situation to,
eventually, a complete acceptance.

I surrendered totally to what was happening. There was nothing that I
could do to change the reality of what had happened. I knew that life
was guiding me towards something but I just didn't know what that was.

Even though, on the surface, my situation looked very challenging, I
said to myself, "whatever happens, I accept it". Even though I was
supposed to be going back to India to do some work that I had been
offered there, I trusted that life had something better in store for me
here in Sri Lanka.

The next day I headed down to a beautiful and quiet beach resort.
Looking around at the

gorgeous white sand and blue sea, I thought "Ok, so things could be a
lot worse!"

Having done a 10 day silent meditation retreat last November in India
and realizing that I was going to have to cancel the one that I had
been accepted to do at the end of January in Mumbai, I looked around to
see what options there may be here in Sri Lanka.

I discovered the perfect meditation retreat. High at the top of a tea
plantation, Nilambe has a daily meditation and yoga schedule and is
extremely peaceful with gorgeous views over the Sri Lankan Hill country.
I initially went there for a week and stayed for 5 weeks , 3 of which
were spent in silence!

This has proved to be one of the most intense, challenging, and
ultimately liberating few weeks of my life.

I could have resisted my enforced stay in Sri Lanka. I could have kicked
up a huge fuss at the High commission and made myself angry and more
upset during that process. I could have stayed stuck in a "why has this
happened to me?" mind game.

But I did none of these things. I completely trusted and surrendered to
what life was giving to me, not what I had decided was best for me.

And life brought me exactly what I needed.

How often do we do this? We are so fixed on doing what we have set our
minds to do, even when life is blocking us and showing us that maybe
this is not the right way for us to go.

Can you see anywhere in your own lives where you need to let go and
surrender to whichever way life wants to take you?

This trip to India (and now Sri Lanka too!) has been absolutely
incredible. I have learned so much more about myself and about life. And
now my book is well underway so that I may be able to share all of my
life experiences with you.

Anyway

Anyway

People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centred
Forgive them anyway

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway

If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some
True enemies
Succeed anyway

If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;
Be honest and frank anyway

What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;
Build anyway

If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;
Be happy anyway

The good you do today, people will forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway

Give the world the best you have, it may never be enough;
Give the world the best you’ve got anyway

You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God;
It was never between you and them anyway

- Anonymous, found on the wall of Mother Teresa’s office

A time to reflect...

I want to start by first of all wishing you all a very Happy New Year!

There is something quite magical about the new beginning that each January brings. It always seems to me to be the best time to let go of what is not working in my life and create anew whatever I really want to happen in the year to come. I take some time to reflect on what I have achieved over the past 12 months, what I am grateful for in my life and what I want to achieve in the 12 months to come.

What a year 2008 has been for me! The Top 5 highlights for me were that I:

• Created the LIVE IT! System, including an ebook, workshop, keynote speech and 1:2:1 sessions
• Appeared regularly in national magazines including Psychologies, Top Santé, Cosmo Bride and Healthy magazine and been interviewed live on the internet
• Worked with some amazing clients and witnessed some incredible transformations
• Sat 6 rows away from The Dalai Lama when he spoke at The Royal Albert Hall in London earlier this year
• Attended a Cashin family reunion in the Isle of Man with over 100 Cashin family members from all over the world, which resulted in becoming reunited with two gorgeous half sisters (and their families) who I am now delighted that I am getting to know better

So what about you? What did you achieve in 2008? What do you want to happen in the next 12 months?Using the LIVE IT! System, take 10 minutes in a quiet space, get a pen and paper and write down the answers to the following (for 2008):

1. What were your top 5 achievements?
2. What are you grateful for in the past year (and now)?
3. What would you like to let go of now?
4. What is your intention for 2008 (what are you going to achieve)?
5. What is your Vision (and values) for this year?
6. How are you going to put energy in to making this a reality (what actions will you take)?
7. What can you do that inspires you this year? What is your intuition telling you about this year?
8. Are you able to trust in yourself and in making your vision a reality?

I am grateful to so many people for supporting me and having faith in me in 2008, including; Damien, Fraser, Tom, Sarah, Mum & David, Dad & Yvonne, Sanja, Jude, Stuart K, Lou, Karen, Emma, Emma & Tom, Lucy, the Alternatives team, Nick W, Sue A, Hannah and all the wonderful people who I have networked with, worked with and been friends with… you know who you are!

Here's to an incredible, fun, inspiring, joyful, passionate, playful, connecting, successful, fulfilling, purposeful, loving year full of growth and learning.

And remember, it's no use just reading about changing your life… you need to go out there and LIVE IT!

Turn fear into more clients now

Have you noticed how the world is being driven by fear right now? Financial markets are suffering, jobs are being cut and we are entering into a recession.

Fear breeds fear and it can be a very difficult cycle to break.

Stop for a moment and ask yourself whether you are caught up in this fear; are you focusing on day to day worries and how to pay the next bill, on the lack of clients that you currently have, or do you have a clear vision of where you are heading and are taking confident steps to reach your goal, no matter what the outside world seems to be telling you is happening?

During a recession there are always people who are still successful. Why is this? These people/companies do not get caught up in the fear that surrounds them. They are confident in themselves and their products and really understand the true value they bring to their clients. They are flexible to market conditions and never lose sight of their vision and goals.

The much talked about “Law of Attraction” states that you create in your life whatever you give your focus, energy and attention to. If you are constantly worrying about a recession, or focusing on lack of any kind – guess what? You will become fearful, contracted and stop taking the committed action you need to succeed.

Of course, the reverse is also true. If you are constantly focusing on the vision that you have created for yourself and are putting your attention and energy into ensuring that you have a great product that brings real value to your clients, then you will attract those people who really value who you are and what you do.

And they will be prepared to pay you… even during a recession!

Live internet interview!

This week I am really excited as on Thursday evening (6th November) 8pm UK time I am going to be interviewed in a one hour radio chat with the very talented Damien Senn on his live internet radio programme entitled 'people you should meet'.

Damien says that http://www.peopleyoushouldmeet.com/ was created to help give people free access to some of the most inspirational minds on the planet.

The site was created as an expression of gratitude to all the incredible teachers that he has been exposed to on his own personal path of transformation.

The ethos of People You Should Meet is that every single person on this planet has special skills, talents and abilities that can only be truly realised through the process of sharing them with others.

I am incredibly priviledged to be part of this week's interview and I really hope that you will join us on the call where I will be talking about my own life's journey and how you can live your life 'on purpose'. Speak to you then!

What difference are you making?

Last week I was invited to the "Coaching as an Integral Part of Society, Make a Difference Now!" event at the BT centre in London. This event was hosted by the International Coaching Federation and Sir John Whitmore was the very inspiring keynote speaker.

We looked at how coaching is/can have a major impact in the areas of education, global and local community and sustainability.

This got me thinking... what do you see as your definition of 'making a difference' and how are you making a difference in your business, community or life in general?

Stepping up

This past week has been a roller coaster week for me. One of my intentions for this year was to have my life story published in Psychologies magazine. Through an amazing series of "coincidences" this is exactly what happened and I am featured in the First Person feature of the November edition of the magazine.

Seeing painful parts of my life in print in such a public way affected me in a way that I wasn't expecting. I suddenly felt very visible and there was some fear around that. What was I afraid of? I was afraid of being judged and of people questioning my motives. I asked myself, "Have I done the right thing?"

Then I remembered why I had gone so public with my story. I remembered all the lessons that I have learned from overcoming so much pain in my life. And I remembered that my intention is now to help as many people as I can through what I have learned. If I can change from being in such a negative mindset about myself and the world to one of feeling connected, motivated and inspired then I would love to help others to do the same.

In order to do that, I need to become visible. I need to face my fears and step up to the challenges that present themselves along the way, with courage and with love. Only then can I be a role model for others to follow.